John Oliver shares some of his favorite completely made-up history facts.
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We will take matters into our own hands!
WE WILL MAKE UP THE 101 HISTORY LIES OURSELVES.
Okay, I'll start with 5, to get us going.
Please refrain from commenting about unrelated things ('Thanks' is fine, but "I want a boy/girlfriend, my e-mail is.." ' is not)
HISTORY LIES, HERE WE GO!
1. Did you know Cleopatra had special crows trained, so they could steal jewelry for her? Sometimes slaves or women would keep certain jewelry to themselves, if the crows detected they were wearing something shiny , they were trained to 'attack' and harass the person, untill they gave up the jewelry.
2. Albert Einstein was allergic to snow. The tiny snowflakes would be inhaled and would cause irritation on the inside of his nose and mouth. His blood-circulation wasn't great, causing the body to have problems dealing with the cold and therefore, the snowflakes would have a bigger effect on his skin and membranes.
3. Michelangelo dated a girl called Suzie Frigopharius for a long time. They never married and never had children, people assume their relationship did not involve any sexual intercourse. She was known for being a bit of a looney, She prefered to hang upside down, with her legs in the air, while tightly clenching herself on the cattlefence of the neighbours. In her own words, this helped; 'her brain cool off.'
People say it's where Michelangelo got the idea from, to paint on the ceiling, rather than a flat surface 'below' his face.
It also inspired him for "The Crucifixion of St Peter", one in which St Peter is hanging, upside down.
Michelangelo always told people he 'took care' of her, causing their bond to seem more like a friendship, rather than a relationship. Therefore, in any biographies about him, Suzie never gets mentioned.
4. A woman by the name of Berty Brott, actually changed her name to Marie Curie and became the scientific wonderwoman we know today. She never revealed her true name and also hid the fact she had only started this project, to eventually have enough money to buy a showercurtain with a print of horses holding umbrella's. It made her smile in the catalogue. She never got to buy it.
5. Before the sprinkles were invented, they came as long, thin sticks that you had to break into pieces yourself. It was seen as a treat for the very poor. Or for people that only needed a very small amount of chocolate, like for stracciatella icecream.
But since it usually broke into tiny bits, they decided to change them into the sprinkle-shape we know today!
Who continues? Number 6....
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He should publish the book with an official cover and introduction and everything, but the first chapter is just one line reading "I lied again, there's really nothing here. Suck it fan who appreciated me enough to buy this." followed by several hundred blank pages.
One of the first German submarines sank because the captain didn't know how to use the flush.
How to build a flush in a submarine had been quite a question those days. In the end the flushes they used were to complicated you needed two people to operate them. The captain refused help and tried making it work himself, failed and as a consequence water got into the submarine. Directly under the toilet was the battery and to prevent a total catastrophe they had to rise up. 14 km from the British island. Needless to say they didn't survive that encounter
Warren G Harding named his penis, Warren G Hard-on! That's a fact! It actually isn't but it sides reference a last week tonight episode.However Lyndon B Johnson named his penis Jumbo. That one actually is a fact! When questioned why we were on Vietnem he pulled it out and said "This is why!".
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