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New York's Port Authority: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

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Locked in a dispute with Fishs Eddy, New York's Port Authority wants to regain control of its own image. John Oliver wants to help them make it happen.
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Text Comments (562)
Tony D (4 days ago)
this trouble making limey should go back to the stinky little island and stay there, we don't need this puke in the united states
P G (19 days ago)
Port Authority encompasses all bridges, tunnels and even LaGuardia Airport, not just the bus terminal., so that explains the plate...
Firehoof (23 days ago)
I'm British. What the fuck is a port authority and what do they do?
jeff Machem (25 days ago)
(obi wan voice) New York Port Authority. you'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious...
King Poopra (28 days ago)
I love the narration by Colin Quinn. He’s like the port authority of comedy
slitor (1 month ago)
I guess they are cutting the budget and some MBA BSc had an idea to sell souvenirs to increase revenue. Still what an odd way for a publicly mandated company to behave.
Olivia Gallenberger (1 month ago)
i went to nyc for the first time in december and i traveled from nj to ny using port authority and i saw rats "making love" and i wanted to actually die
ABC ABC (1 month ago)
CARIN TURNER OR CROOKED HILLARY CLONE
ankr3w1 (1 month ago)
isn"t that just all of the city?
cpope625 (1 month ago)
Does anyone know if John Oliver wrote a check to the Trump campaign when Donald Trump said he was going to run for President? I saw a clip on YouTube where he said he would personally write a check to Trump's campaign.
Patrick Hogan (1 month ago)
The Port Authority must love the image boost they’re getting from Caren Z. Turner. Time for a revisit from John Oliver!?
Daniel W. Sonntag (1 month ago)
It really is like that, blech.
Owen Copson (2 months ago)
Iv'e been in POBT several times and iv'e never really had any problems, the lines at about 5ish get pretty unbearable ut I ut go to the heartland brewery, grab something to eat, and the lines have gone way down. It's no St Pauls Cathedral but I don't mind it there.
Valentin S. (2 months ago)
Can someone explain what the Port Authority is to an European? But it does sound like Berlin-Kreuzberg
M0ND4Y (2 months ago)
John, you make people like Pewdiepie and Markiplier seem boring and flat humored. Great job on the show, you never fail to make me laugh while learning about the world i live in.
Star Cherry (5 months ago)
Two pregnant women fighting?? Wow! Such attention to detail
PhazonSpaceSystems (6 months ago)
I've never even been to New York, and I am aware that the Port Authority is awful.
Dan Gero (6 months ago)
Lol this piece is now more relevant with the terror attack
Philip Pedersen (6 months ago)
funny - so funny with dumb leftists - just now : breaking : BREAKING UPDATE: Terrorist in NYC attack is injured and in custody. Bomb exploded prematurely.
Blood Fire Drake (6 months ago)
I've never heard of the port authority . Probably cuz I'm from Pakistan
Paul Willis (8 months ago)
John, you got me. I actually got a tear from laughing so hard and long, no kidding. Thanks for being you; you weird man.
Composition literature railroad care bend please French silly literary.
वि रे श (9 months ago)
"Eat Shit!!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂🙏
yuyuko & youmu (9 months ago)
Now do one on Penn Station...... *shivers*
Gwendolyn Westwind (9 months ago)
I am confused what the plates even have to do with New York's Port Authority when the landmarks listed on the plate are the Flat Iron Building, Grand Central Station, Citicorp, the Chrysler Building , the Empire State Building, the Brooklyn Bridge, the Woolworth Building, and the Twin Towers. Does the authority own some of these things?
ILuvAyeAye (6 months ago)
Yes, they owned the Twin Towers. They also manage the new 1 World Trade Center, and the Lincoln Tunnel and Holland Tunnel, which are on a different plate.
J McD (9 months ago)
I'd buy that plate. It would make for funny dinner conversations.
Agnes Laufer (10 months ago)
PA it's like an entrance to Chris Christie mouth. ;)
daryl fulton (11 months ago)
Manny G. wears a skirt
Meisterio (11 months ago)
I feel like the Toronto equivalent of the Port Authority Terminal is probably Kennedy Station. Though Kennedy Station is further away from downtown, so idk.
ThunderboltTangerine (1 year ago)
Don't forget how they then also spent $4 billion on one train terminal... double the original budget and late!
Mike Watkinson (1 year ago)
that was the greatest piece you've ever made john.
Jared Palencia (1 year ago)
God who is that voice ? I recognize it so much but i forgot who is that is
Jose Jimenez (1 year ago)
took me a minute to realize that was Colin Quinn doing the voiceover for the port authority commercial 😂
fotorolo (1 year ago)
Funny. As. Shit. The Port Authority, Hell's gaping maw, right in the middle of Manhattan!
NovaChino (1 year ago)
I realy like the John Oliver show but The Port Authority of New York & New Jersey Is Awsome I think its a great company! the Port Authority Police Saved people in 9/11 plus that make realy cool Train like PA-5 & the Bus Terminal is also nice looking & the best part that Port Authority Made is the Pavonia-Newport PATH Train Station.
Niraj Thakkar (1 year ago)
What? He does realize that Port Authority is just more than bud terminal. They are responsible for One World (World Trade Center) building.
Weldon Sirloin (1 year ago)
Fuck New York in general.
qualivia (1 year ago)
a rat orgy? and two pregnant women in a fist fight? Sound like a dream!
Jesse Gallina (1 year ago)
your the biggest liberal asshole ever
What the fuck is the port authority
Bob Feen (1 year ago)
Holy shit Democrat's criticising a Government authority.
Paranoid Penguin (1 year ago)
"rat orgy" oh God
Daniel Gonzalez (1 year ago)
Sickens me how people dislike
TheDanioneal (1 year ago)
The worst part is that my college doesn't have an amtrak station, so I HAVE to take a bus back to nyc for every vacation. Fuck PABT, a pigeon calmly walked past me when i was waiting for my mom. Indoors.
viseberg (1 year ago)
Pigeons are nothing. JFK and LGA regularly have them indoors.
OniSyphon (1 year ago)
Is the narrator Colin Quinn?
Kris S (1 year ago)
Yes it was
Joseph Paladino (1 year ago)
Funny... But nothing mentioned about the Freedom Tower construction? A private Wall St. Building built with built with hiked Toll money??? AAA Organization has a class action law suit again the PANY/NJ for yeasr and journalists find it hard to investigate into it. Federal law says money taken from traffic must go to traffic infrastructure... 10's of Billions of tax dollars these past few years have been going to private interests. Could of built a new train system to replace that bus terminal to help when the next Sandy hits. Come on John Oliver. You can dosomething better and more elaborate on them!
Robert Cuminale (1 year ago)
How about all the PA money Christie is spending on the Skyway in Kearney? PA money is supposed to be spent on interstate facilities between the two states.
Varun Khandavalli (1 year ago)
I was at this taping and people were laughing so loud but in the video it seems like they weren't.
Camila Sierra (1 year ago)
totally relate, the Port Authority is disgusting af
Shaft Floyd (1 year ago)
It really is not that bad.....
Piplup J (1 year ago)
Here's how bad the Port Authority's reputation is: I'm a British student and in my final year at school I did a Sociology module called Crime and Deviance. The NY and NJ Port Authority Bus Station was actually mentioned in my textbook as somewhere where crime and deviant behaviour occur. No mention of the streets of Baghdad or the slums of New Dehli. But the NY and NJ Port Authority is so full of crime that it has to get a mention.
वि रे श (9 months ago)
Piplup J OK but there are no slums in New Delhi, slums are located in Old Delhi...
sonicboy678 (1 year ago)
The sad thing is, PANYNJ handles more than that terminal in Midtown, but because of the name, the entire agency will get shit for it.
Connor Murphy (1 year ago)
I've been to NYC several times on vacation but I've never crossed the PA, after this video I hope I don't ever go near that place.
Honey Dubey (2 years ago)
Im going to buy those plates
nyfinest017 (2 years ago)
yeah that place looks like they shot really low cost porn movies in the 70s
indecentanalyst (2 years ago)
Come to Brussels. It's like a gigantic Port Authority now, since they have made a major boulevard a "pedestrian-only" street. All you see is garbage, drunkards and people fighting.
bill g (2 years ago)
do that racoon imitation thing
Sam Dragonborn (2 years ago)
Did know it was that bad I was just told not to take the bus
kurikuraconkuritas (2 years ago)
I once entered that place. I never realize it had that bad reputation until now.
Nathan Allen (2 years ago)
Yay! Colin Quinn.
AlaskanGirlLRB (2 years ago)
Omg, Everybody Hates Chris! I watched that show a lot when I was in elementary and middle school. The memories... I still love that show dearly
Francis Lai (2 years ago)
Can I buy one? I just don't want to spoil my nice dinnerware with fruitcake.
Slap Happy (2 years ago)
I like the dinner plate but it left off a few visuals... like the homeless bum sleeping against the wall and the incoherent man with B,O. that could kill an elephant, sitting down next to you as he tries to sell you crack!
mushnoodle (2 years ago)
*pot authority
Anna_H _ (2 years ago)
The person narrating the port authority parody advertisement sounds like Donald Drumpf.
Vanessa Alvarenga (2 years ago)
I went the other day and pigeons were flying all around like where the fuck did you come from
Vanessa Alvarenga (2 years ago)
I went the other day and pigeons were flying all around like where the fuck did you come from
Robert Cuminale (2 years ago)
I had the great pleasure of being in the Port Authority bus terminal twice a day from 1970 to 1979. If you didn't gag on the body odors of the homeless wandering around or sitting in a seat and picking the dead skin off their feet, the constant pestering of Hari Krishnas wanting to give you a free copy of the Bhagavad Gita ( NOT), or the gaseous fumes of the hundreds of idling buses you would consider yourself fortunate. All the restaurants have roaches crawling everywhere. Don't stand still too long they'll crawl up your pants leg hoping you'll carry them out of the place. Once you get outside you see that the sidewalks sparkle. That from all the little glass vials that once held crack rocks and have been ground underfoot. Or you'll be molested by some guy who takes your picture and if you don't buy it for $5.00 he threatens to kill you and take all your money too. Don't miss the hookers walking around ready to provide pleasure in any kink style. Men, rough trade, women, Trannies, transvestites and the indescribable. There were porn shops and movie theaters from 34th Street to 50th Street between 7th and 8th Avenues. Bottomless lunch joints. I was eating with a coworker in one one day and the sight of the gash standing over us made me leave my sandwich and go. Now I know it's been cleaned up a lot but the Port Authority's reputation has not. I worked helping to build the World Trade Center and after a while you figure out that you are dealing with cops so crooked they make the NYPD look like choir boys. They were supposed to provide security but somehow people managed to walk off with tool lock boxes 6 feet long by 3 feet wide and 3 feet tall. We had to take the wheels of of ours so they couldn't steal it. Once someone walked off with 200 four lamp fluorescent ceiling fixtures. They were only useful in office buildings because they were wired for 277 volt power so it was definitely an inside job for some contractor. Don't forget the guy who parachuted off of one of the buildings and the tight rope walker. The new Tappan Zee bridge is built at a wider place on the river because if it was within 25 miles of NYC it would have to be under the PONYNJA authority and the tolls would require you hocking your first born. Don't forget to take that Greyhound to New York and don't bring back any roaches.
Kes22497 (1 year ago)
Robert Cuminale you won't find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy
MegaMoose1989 (1 year ago)
and now the excitement is gone.
Josh Reynolds (1 year ago)
you should have your own show
Robert Cuminale (2 years ago)
+Salman Kamil Thanks
Salman Kamil (2 years ago)
+Robert Cuminale Man that was just fantastically written.
chesterbesterfeild (2 years ago)
whooo colin quin!
S Lanche (1 year ago)
o'yeahh!
Scott Prueter (2 years ago)
It's no worse than the black sludge filled diaper smell of many Brooklyn subways
amaryllis hayes (1 year ago)
^
GiraffeJoker (2 years ago)
I've been in the Port Authority many times to take bus out of town. It's far away from any glorious image you would think of NYC. But it's not to the point that I can't stand it and call it awful.
Matias_V (2 years ago)
My first job when I moved to NYC in the mid 90s was at the PA Bus Terminal (construction supervisor).. I was knew to the city and thus had no previous bias towards the place; yet upon setting foot there my most immediate thought was - WTF did I get into?!! If anyone thinks its bad now, you can't imagine what it was like back then (and you don't want to). Perhaps no truer piece of news exists on Youtube today! LOL. Another amazing piece John!
Robert Cosmé (2 years ago)
LOLOLOL!!! NAILED IT!!
GoliathA3 (2 years ago)
I love the reckless abandon with which this show gives no fucks.
Sāhil Sardessai (2 years ago)
The grass is always greener on the other side.
MegaKaitouKID1412 (2 years ago)
My question is how they "owns" the New York skyline...?
Matthew Smith (2 months ago)
Yup... thanks to very bizarre and highly inefficient rules, one can sue someone else because whatever they are selling might contain a bit of something they own. A friend of mine tried to patent a neat design for a backpack, he was sued afterwards, and apparently he was breaking the law because he used zippers, which were a form of a “fabric fastener” which had been patented. Yes, he got sued because he used zippers, this patent troll company claimed that they owned the rights to ZIPPERS. They sued him in some town halfway across the country, and he was required to show up in that town to defend his case. He ended up just going “nvm” because he would have had to fork out the money to travel there, as well as pay legal fees, housing, and all that stuff, just because he wanted to try and patent a cool design for a backpack. Some of the vague patents out there, especially software, are for things that are literally fundamental for nearly every software program or computer on earth. There are patents for a “online store”, among others, and it makes it so that it’s nearly impossible to actually patent new innovations without having an entire legal team, and lots of money, to support this. I mean some of the patent lawsuits, they might as well allege that the other patent uses air, something which they hold a patent for, as a form of “breathable gas”.
kk4e (1 year ago)
Daniel Weiss PA owns the world trade center. The bridge on the plate says brooklyn bridge(owned by the city) and twin tower.
Daniel Weiss (1 year ago)
they own the bridge on the plate (George Washington)
Carsten Løhr (1 year ago)
it's the US...
Cathy Schneider (2 years ago)
Of course, having Harvey Keitel do the voice-over made it sound kind of cool.
Shane Rogers (2 years ago)
I've been there multiple times. There are rats, there are crazy homeless people, there are nasty bathrooms. Not sure about the two pregnant women fighting though ;)
Renee Lynn (2 years ago)
I just took the Port Authority to visit my relatives in Jersey and yes, it was the worse! I'm a tourist, but the Port Authority made me furious! Thank god people were very, very helpful and a lady lent me a spare ticket because I thought the MetroCard would suffice. Oh well....
Mahmoud El Arch (2 years ago)
A Bus Station ? I thought New Yorkers use Taxis and Metros only !
Atanu Haldar (2 years ago)
colin quinn for the win
Tracymmo (2 years ago)
I used to go bowling at the Port Authority. While I hate the station in general, the bowling alley was ok.
lemons limes (2 years ago)
anyone ever gonna bring up long island railroad? I feel it's gonna be 30 bucks for one ride in a few years.
KingDT2007 (2 years ago)
As a former journalist i have been to Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria Detroit and Camden NJ. I also once visited the port authority bus terminal, and i can safely say the former locations are safer than the latter.
Artificial-Thunder (2 years ago)
Yeah, the agency that's bleeding thousands of dollars out of working people's ridiculously disproportionate tolls to run an airport described as a "third-world country" and a ton of decrepit, obsolete bridges in addition to this bus terminal is worried about "image". The agency that's looking to spend $1.5 billion on a 2-mile rail extension to a station that already exists needs to keep up its "image". A government agency involved in land speculation is worried about fucking "image". Thank you, Port Authority. You really represent New York well.
John Mann (2 years ago)
I went to New York once and just sort of wandered into the PA bus terminal. Moved wallet to front pocket.
lobecosc (2 years ago)
I was recently in New York and I have to agree. I was on the NYC Airporter Shuttle headed to JFK and it took us over 30mins to leave that place and over an hour to get to the airport.  It took to hours to get back to Penn Station.  DC's Union Station is a palace compared to that place.
Caleb (2 years ago)
what is the port authority?
Robert Cuminale (2 years ago)
+Caleb I forgot. It runs the World Trade Center and the ports too.
Robert Cuminale (2 years ago)
+Caleb It's a quasi public agency owned by New York State and New Jersey and it operates all the bridges and tunnels within 25 miles of NYC. The earnings are a big slush fund for the governors to use.
Wintermute01001 (2 years ago)
I hope John Oliver actually starts selling that plate.
The Oceanic King (2 years ago)
+Sumair Bawa not to eat from, people put plates on their wall
Sumair Bawa (2 years ago)
+Wintermute01001 Eat food from glazed PA bathroom tiles? No thank you XD
Louis Lipp (2 years ago)
Doesn't get much better than this!
loserpoo999 (2 years ago)
Discourteous Gaming (2 years ago)
I bought 4 things from Fishs Eddy after watching this video
SandCube (2 years ago)
What's wrong with Port Authority? I went there trying to look for the terminal for buses leaving to Canada but couldn't find it on my own. So a possibly homeless man came to me and told he can walk me there, so I followed him. He complimented my shoes the entire time and told every passing person about how awesome they were. When we reached the correct terminal he asked for money, which honestly surprised me because I was used to sincere friendliness in Canada, but few dollars were little to nothing for me so I felt like it was a reasonable pay for a fine service.
tppuao Weldezion (2 years ago)
+SandCube I bet that man was canadian.
TheLizzerd (2 years ago)
+Omer V theyre canadian they prob are just seeing the bright side to the place.
Omer V (2 years ago)
+SandCube Consider yourself lucky, that place is a real shithole. It smells like piss, it's crowded, there's a bunch of homeless people everywhere, it smells like piss, oh, and it smells like piss.
Eric Lampaert (3 years ago)
I want that plate!
AverageO (3 years ago)
Seriously, how the fuck is that plate hurting their reputation?
Trillyana (3 years ago)
I've lived in NY 20 miles from Manhattan my whole life and been to the city hundreds of times...this is my first time learning anything about the Port Authority other than that it exists
batmandannyb (3 years ago)
Is the voiceover Colin Quinn?
Feminist Ate My gf (3 years ago)
That was fucking funny!
Abigail Croom (3 years ago)
To be fair if they made that plate(though not out of actual tiles) I would buy 20 and use it for when my grandmother visits.
House OfDNY (3 years ago)
As someone who's been in and out of there for the last 20 years, I can safely share with you that it is every bit the pus-filled sore on the ass of New York City today, that it was in '90s.  And for those of you who have not enjoyed the unique experience, just imagine stepping through two automated doors, and walking face-first into a giant hospital mop.
Tomasina Covell (3 years ago)
Stop being so stupid LOUD when you switch to the excerpts and audience!

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