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Nuclear Weapons: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

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America has over 4,800 nuclear weapons, and we don’t take terrific care of them. It’s terrifying, basically. Connect with Last Week Tonight online... Subscribe to the Last Week Tonight YouTube channel for more almost news as it almost happens: www.youtube.com/user/LastWeekTonight Find Last Week Tonight on Facebook like your mom would: http://Facebook.com/LastWeekTonight Follow us on Twitter for news about jokes and jokes about news: http://Twitter.com/LastWeekTonight Visit our official site for all that other stuff at once: http://www.hbo.com/lastweektonight
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Text Comments (8559)
KemkoKaoKameo (1 day ago)
Actually, to improve upon ur trex analogy, nukes r actually like hiv infected needles being wielded by the tiny Hands of a trex. Especially since he'd probably be more likely to stab himself
Mr. Shadow (1 day ago)
Duck and cover!
Nick Lang (1 day ago)
What the eff are people with nukes thinking about?!
arkayen666123 (2 days ago)
The thing about dropping a socket is irrelevant. They could've destroyed the ICBM, and killed a lot of workers yes, and yes there would be some very localized radiation from the materials in the warhead, but blowing up a warhead doesn't cause the nuclear reaction that it does when used as a weapon.
Fonce (3 days ago)
Ya John, Our government has taken the Secrecy thing that President Kennedy warned us about WAY too far! Now the people operating our missile systems no longer have "The Need to Know" anything about the weapons they control.
Matthew Trzcinski (3 days ago)
It's because the missile service is where you send misfits. They'll never be used, never be called on.
d-_-b (4 days ago)
Lets go bomb USA because they have weapons of mass destruction, and way too many!(using the american logic here).
John White (5 days ago)
Another big fuck up from the WORST FIRST WORLD COUNTRY IN THE WORLD !
Zaid (5 days ago)
1:51 intercontenLENTAL
Аня Липина (6 days ago)
14:50 Well, you basically asked for a president who could blow up the planet.
MartyVendetta27 (11 days ago)
you'd be interested to know that here in wyoming, at Warren Air Force base, the soldiers guarding the nukes had been tripping on LSD pretty regularly.
Young Bush (11 days ago)
Hey
Eric Choi (12 days ago)
John Oliver is a legend.
Gabriel C (15 days ago)
funny john oliver :) you are too pessimistic :)
cloudsweapon567 (18 days ago)
Being the president has seriously got the be the most stressful job imaginable.
The Jokester (18 days ago)
They idiots they do know that a nuke will destroy everyone they should get fired
amerikkka is a big joke I've been saying this for years nobody takes me seriously .
Brad Demerich (19 days ago)
A lot of this is crazy, but using mechanical drives for these systems is a good idea. It's all around safer to keep the systems simple and less accessible from modern forms of breach.
Cian McCabe (20 days ago)
I think the low tech launching computers are there to make them harder to hack.
Undiddley (22 days ago)
A joke of a nightmare within a nightmare set inside the bottom of a nearly bottomless nightmare that ends with the nightmare of a joke about an idiot's nightmare.
Dhaval Shukla (25 days ago)
I have said this once and I'll say it thousand times. UN should interfere and make every country with nuclear power, push towards the denuclearization. IT IS TOO MUCH DANGER.
Benjamin Ringrose (25 days ago)
I always love these but a couple comments. First, duck and cover was never supposed to protect those in the immediate area of the blast. It was to protect those further out from the force of the shock wave and was very effective. The same things we do in earthquakes all around the world. Second, using older computer hardware could be deliberate. Something that runs on a floppy disk would be much more difficult to hack than a modern network connected computer. Still a great segment but a bit of one sided information here.
Dictator Bargo (26 days ago)
I hope this won't give isis any ideas.
husen boriwala (26 days ago)
Ahh.... Remember when we didn't live in fear of nuclear war
Willie Martinez (27 days ago)
Trump is a BIG PUSSY not telling North Korea not to arm nuclear missles
squattingheads (28 days ago)
Trying to find a comedian making fun of hiroshima. But they dont touch it. I actually never see americans talking about it. But nazis sure
reprapmlp (28 days ago)
Um, those 8" floppy disks are closer to the size of a single than an LP.
Forgeby G (28 days ago)
Nuclear winters are cold. Keep warm with Vault-tec!
Joe Mama (29 days ago)
Triggered marxist cucks make me happy!!
Patrick Wheeler (30 days ago)
Duck and cover was promoted to help people who might be too far from the center of the blast to be instantly annihilated, but might still be hurt by debris or radiation.
benjamin williams (1 month ago)
I tried to do a comedy sketch based on this vid in 8th grade it went terrible
Jason Reeve (1 month ago)
amarican law makers are morons
a24396 (1 month ago)
The real problem with nuclear weapons is the more you learn about them the less scary they become and you can talk yourself into accepting they are a necessary evil.
a24396 (11 days ago)
Sure... Misinformation plays a role, chiefly to make having them, or using them: "unthinkable" - but for the people that know how they work and effects of the weapons when they are used, they stop being apocalyptic and become tools... And it's easy to become complacent... Using them isn't going to "destroy the world" and even the fallout when they are used isn't as bad as the popular lore would have us believe. But... They make mass death far too easy to accomplish and they let it happen at arms length. The true danger is it might only take one sociopath getting their hands on one and if you give it enough time it's bound to happen. And when that sociopath is dis-inhibited from using them because they know the facts? Not a good outcome...
Zane Shute (12 days ago)
But is that really a problem with nuclear weapons, or their public image that's often influenced by misinformation?
Aditya Tiwari (1 month ago)
1:55 BM= Bowel Movement for those who didn't get it
Rafael Oda (1 month ago)
The hell a top military officer, in charge of nuclear weapons, is doing in Russia anyway?
res1492 (1 month ago)
this guy is so not funny...the fake laughter is telling
Eric (1 month ago)
The reason the tech is old is so no one can hack them
daniel job (1 month ago)
Russian general: Haha! Look at how outdated Amerikanski system is! Aide: (coughs) *points at old shoebox full of punch cards*
Stay classy (1 month ago)
0:39 failed dab attempt
Leopold Ivešić (1 month ago)
How are nuclear weapons useless? What about the nuclear deterrent
Leads4 Accessibility (1 month ago)
I’ve lost all faith in humanity I
Juam Laris (1 month ago)
Holy shaza a floppy disk oh my God rofl
Ha Truong (1 month ago)
Can't even laugh at the joke. Sf terrifying.
Political Sleuth (1 month ago)
Ha Truong I was about to say the same thing
IcarianX (1 month ago)
Iran doesn't actually have nuclear weapons. Or a nuclear weapons program. Oliver subtly suggest that it does here.
benedictify (1 month ago)
So which countries will we automatically nuke when an American missile blows up accidentally in a silo, and it's mistaken for a foreign nuclear attack?
Zane Shute (12 days ago)
None. Despite that scenario being nearly impossible, radioisotope forensics can tell us where the nuclear fuel came from. If it came from us, then...
A guy I went to school with he said the first Russian satellite that was ever sent into orbit it has less hardware than the first gameboy that was made. first generation gameboy
Rainhard Ravenlaw (1 month ago)
And now Trump has direct access to them. Well done, americans 😉
Peradectes (14 days ago)
Trust me, as an American I can say on the behalf of my country: "Fuck Trump". No seriously, fuck him. Trump does not represent most Americans, and most of us loathe that slimy bastard. I cannot conceive of a reason why he isn't doing hard time by now besides "republicans control Congress".
Jonny Boy (1 month ago)
Good thing about using old computer equipment (providing it works) is its ability not to be hacked.
Merkin Perm (1 month ago)
I think the number is closer to 6,800 warheads in 2018
Stefan Radu (1 month ago)
This info + Trump = God luck guys!
SmallPlanet (1 month ago)
good:) >>> #nuclearweapontopol
Vahid Farahani (1 month ago)
There are 197 countries in the world. Assuming each country has 10 Major cities like new york, moscow or Tokyo( including countries like tuvalu with population of 11000). US needs1970 nuclear bombs to completely cripple the world. Why do you even need the rest? At this point you're just a hoarder.
Zane Shute (10 days ago)
5,000 bombs is nowhere near enough. There's a lot of misinformation surrounding nuclear weapons, a lot of fearmongering, but myths such as "we have enough nuclear weapons to destroy the world X times over" simply aren't true. You're not wrong, countries do legally questionable things all the time, but with nuclear war it's a little different. Military planners take international law into account with their war plans, so that's how they'll be executed. The good thing about nuclear war not being able to destroy the world is that there will be plenty of people left around to enforce the Laws of Armed Conflict, and war planners know that.
Vahid Farahani (10 days ago)
Zane Shute 5000 bombs is more than enough for global extintion.lets not forget about 7000 other bomb in the hands of other countries which will be used in case of a nuclear football. Also when someone stupid wants to do something, international laws are the last thing on their minde. Fir example annexation of crimea by Russia. Iraq war by US. Also trump one suggested killing the families of the terrorist. All of them are/were illegal but they came to pass. It's funny that something like what happened in Dr. Strangelove is quiet possible.
Zane Shute (10 days ago)
Sure, you could gun only for major cities, but with today's stockpiles, you won't get far. You'll kill hundreds of millions, but nowhere near global extinction. Not in any scenario. Realistically, though, no one is going to do that, as it's highly illegal, so it doesn't matter.
Vahid Farahani (10 days ago)
Zane Shute that's why I said American just don't care about other peoples lives(including other Americans) a Nuclear war results to the loss of millions of lives at best and global extinction at worst.( considering the aftermath maybe in reverse) Also you just said everything can be a target for a nuclear strike. It just depends on the whims of the person shooting it. So thank you, you just proved my main point. Every city in the world can be targeted for a Nuclear strike. And there is enough stupidity in the world(specially in the government) for it to just happen.
Zane Shute (10 days ago)
Just about anything. The main target of nuclear weapons are other nuclear weapons, like missile silos, submarine pens, and storage facilities. Conventional military targets like military bases without nuclear weapons come next. While the nuclear arms race was, to an extent, political, it was also just straight up preparing for nuclear war. It would have been interested if the Cold War turned hot during the Cuban Missile Crisis. The Soviets were seeking leverage by deploying nuclear weapons in Cuba for a reason. At the time, they had about 4 (four) operational ICBMs, with the rest of their long-range bombers capable of reaching CONUS, which would be vulnerable to AA fire, numbering about 300 planes. In contrast, the US had about 3,000 nuclear weapons that could reach the Soviet Union, and that's not including the thousands of weapons that were also in Europe. The Soviet Union would have lost terribly, while the US would sustain almost no damage in comparison.
Courage Karnga (1 month ago)
Yikes! We're going to just blow ourselves up someday!
I am Me (1 month ago)
Nuclear preparines : homer simpson level
Mordion (1 month ago)
Wow John Oliver good fucking point man! We should definitely not care about the warheads in the hands of dictatorial regimes that hate America. Let's instead complain about the state of our outdated nuclear program while simultaneously complaining about the fact that we have a nuclear program in the first place while also acting like it's fine that less stable countries that hate America have nukes. LOL gawd.... someone flush this piece of shit down the toilet.
Political Sleuth (1 month ago)
Mordion a quick google search will tell you how many nations own nukes. Most of them are not nato allies. If they wanted to blow us up they would have decades ago. But no warhead could ever beat the most undefeated US protection from all threats from landing on our soil, this protection allows us to see any and all incoming missiles, it’s called THE FUCKING ATLANTIC AND PACIFIC OCEAN 🙄
brian matuguina (1 month ago)
that would suck
brian matuguina (1 month ago)
this is funny and scary at the same time
Leanne Blake (1 month ago)
Actually , with that Hardware . Hackers couldn't Hack. I don't know . DELIVERING FOOD , Oh it's the Pizza Dude.
Tony Montana (1 month ago)
We are so screwed
kevin van veen (1 month ago)
European look on America confirmed
Tall Hooman (1 month ago)
Its currently at 9600, so in the words of one of our teachers "WE ARE SO FUCKED!!"
Jack White (1 month ago)
The old technology is impossible to hack
L0LWTF1337 (1 month ago)
15:00 Be careful what you wish for.
Taylor the Impaler (1 month ago)
Oops. Oh, shit. *Kaboom!*
Jarthen Greenmeadow (1 month ago)
That would make a hell of a movie though.
Milubee (1 month ago)
I am sorry, but is this for real? I am ok with lots of things being bullshited in all countries, but NUCLEAR WEAPONS? I am a little angry. >:)
Bardia Saeedi (1 month ago)
2:00 someone explain the joke
Peter Maffay (1 month ago)
echt lustig
DannyX017 (2 months ago)
Can't believe I wasted 15 mins of my life
Ivy J. (2 months ago)
time to bring this back
#love iisuperwomanii (2 months ago)
The way you not makes you look kind of like a parrot's sorry but I like your show anyways it's funny
#love iisuperwomanii (2 months ago)
The way you not makes you look kind of like a parrot's sorry but I like your show anyways it's funny
Matthew Minelli (2 months ago)
The reason they use floppy disks is so they don't get hacked.
William Craig (2 months ago)
Holy shit - Homer Simpson's nuclear plant is not only real, it's multiplying!
Sarge Loves Scout (2 months ago)
Actual count is higher. Bangor WA has a ton of them!
Blaize Spyro (2 months ago)
Imagine what happens in Russia........
Christian Zeitvogel (2 months ago)
This video did not age well with the current president in office
Ryan Jansen (2 months ago)
They use old tech so it can’t be hacked. But they still need to refurbish and fix shit as it wears and tears. Frightening af
Jeff Carroll (2 months ago)
Meal team 6
Lightning Tomy (2 months ago)
NUCKEAAAARRRR SSSSHHHHIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT! Is it the elephants foot?
Nathan Froese (2 months ago)
To be fare the "fact" that "we have enough nukes to destroy the world" x "times over." is ridiculous." Go to https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/ and do your own tests, even if ever single nuke was as powerful as the biggest nuke ever designed, we could maybe make north America uninhabitable for 50 - 100 years if every single nuclear nation including the U.S. banded together,our only chances of wiping out humanity are: 1. causing a nuclear Ice Age or 2. using salted nukes (which as far as we know no one has ever tested or designed) in which case 1. (eh we survived the last one) or 2. (God help us all... except deep sea bacteria they'll be fine.) respectively.
Doctor RPG (2 months ago)
John Oliver is partly the reason I am passing government. XD
xyz (2 months ago)
fuck this is scary
inscrutable (2 months ago)
Of course they don't need to be on their game, Nukes are a hoax :)
Willy Whitten (2 months ago)
*It is no sign of sound mental health to be well adjusted to a pathological society.* \\][//
Willy Whitten (2 months ago)
*This is hilarious... and fucking scary!* \\][//
Raul Mendez (2 months ago)
I would like to see if we have improved things in 4 years..Can you do another report on this topic?
Amelie Online (2 months ago)
they made us watch the duck and cover videos in school last month!! and they showed us the one with the turtle
Andrew Barnett (2 months ago)
back when people were saying "im afraid of a terror attack" i pointed out all those old videos (we watched them in school in our history class for shits and giggles one day) and they tended to get over it
TheGuitarHero666 (2 months ago)
this video became a lot more relevant
Jacob Lamb (2 months ago)
Meal team 6
havocgr1976 (2 months ago)
To think this Earth still exists because one day long ago one Russian soldier ignored his training and orders and didnt launch when the computer told him that he should...
Bryan Valearius (2 months ago)
Arkansas the discount Kansas where Dorothy’s cousin Matilda lives
Charlie Mulligan (2 months ago)
Nuclear war is about to happen any time soon
jwan besande (2 months ago)
10:35 when you eat too much Taco Bell
Richardc Chang (2 months ago)
15:00 How about we not... This is too relevant...
JK B (2 months ago)
Hahaha, Oregon Trail! God, that brings back memories of 1990 😊 How many times had my party contracted dysentery 😁
diamine75 (2 months ago)
Genius!
Jon dow (2 months ago)
tow words Donald Trump!!
zoki kostadinov (2 months ago)
Dumbericans...

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