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Nuclear Weapons: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

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America has over 4,800 nuclear weapons, and we don’t take terrific care of them. It’s terrifying, basically. Connect with Last Week Tonight online... Subscribe to the Last Week Tonight YouTube channel for more almost news as it almost happens: www.youtube.com/user/LastWeekTonight Find Last Week Tonight on Facebook like your mom would: http://Facebook.com/LastWeekTonight Follow us on Twitter for news about jokes and jokes about news: http://Twitter.com/LastWeekTonight Visit our official site for all that other stuff at once: http://www.hbo.com/lastweektonight
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Text Comments (8740)
Dave (11 hours ago)
My face doesn't look like a ferret :(
Zamanoid (2 days ago)
"...vomit a half-eaten chimichanga onto a Slavic Ringo..." add that to the list of sentences you never thought you'd hear.
Julie W. (2 days ago)
I am not surprised Americans would not talk about it (the major fuck-up of dropping nuclear bombs on your own country). They tell everyone they're the best at everything, when in reality they have almost killed us all multiple times from incompetence and stupidity! AT LEAST MANAGE YOUR BOMBS PROPERLY, PLEASE! Pick and train your military better and cut down on friendly fire! And PLEASE, start giving a SHIT! You have almost killed us all MULTIPLE TIMES . Including Trump playing chicken with Kim Jong-un, except the car he was driving was Earth. Then, he almost got us all killed two more times. That we know of! Now the incompetence I figured was there . . . it's even worse knowing it's there.
Julie W. (2 days ago)
I WISH this was funny, but it ISN'T. This is fucking TERRIFYING. Your (the USA) incompetence could kill us all! Another example where the USA shows they're not up for the job. They're most recent geriatric toddler President is only the final icing on the danger cake.
Hadley Souther (7 days ago)
Haha as silly as the duck and cover videos are, it totally makes sense as an attempt to make people think it's survivable and more like an earthquake to prevent panic I mean we dropped the nuke on Japan just to flex for russia we had it, and set up the cold war Already firebombed 100 of their cities and it was just 2 more on the list, it was Russia and China about to invade them from the north that they reeeeally didn't want happening after what they did over there, Truman was a clown happy to use it At least we can try and see it as a visible reason not to ever use them
The Amazing Gible (7 days ago)
ND represent!
jacker372 (7 days ago)
The old equipment in silos is analog that's why they use it. It would survive the emp produced by a nuke
william wrath (8 days ago)
Wait! So he is frustrated that they can't launch nuclear weapons on any part of planet. US is LoL. I guess they r still thirsty of oil
Canzandridas Joe (8 days ago)
Apparently the USA is prone to losing warheads because they crashed a different one some (long) time ago in Spain aswell lol
The Lemming (11 days ago)
Support the death of humanity Do the right thing
Rude_i_Wredne (13 days ago)
...or just guard atomic shit better. I guess is about as costly as disarming them and you can keep your sweet warheads for the political reasons. Really. Upgrading the computers, sending qualified physicists to keep an eye on them and generally not be an idiot. That should not be that hard.
shea (14 days ago)
I don't know what weapons World War 3 will be fought with, but World War 4 will be fought with sticks and stones.
Jack Bartlett (14 days ago)
Everyone about me: 🎵We don’t hate you, we don’t even think that much about you(no offense)🎵 Now if only my social anxiety could recognize that
Astro Wolvez (17 days ago)
And one of those bombs is still missing.
Ls Vijay (18 days ago)
This is what happens when you have too many puppets in the house.
Bobby Goetz (20 days ago)
You're such an idiot John Oliver
Lord Slapaman (21 days ago)
Still waiting for the day a country blows itself up in a hilarious accident
I am Me (23 days ago)
Duck and cover :D
Dr. Love 1987 (24 days ago)
This whole segment makes you say, "Bruh!"
flightMC (25 days ago)
Can someone explain the ICBM joke he said at the beginning?
fdsafdsafdsa (22 days ago)
Not sure if serious, but, the gastroenterolists bit is an additional clue. I see B.M.s, BM being the medical term for pooping. All put together, the speaker would see BMs because everyone nearby would be crapping their pants. Now that we've thoroughly murdered a 4 year old joke, any other questions?
David Shantz (26 days ago)
Good people... there are so many ways our government is stuck in the past, spending money on things that have no value for the wrong reasons... maintaining a nuclear arsenal of 8,000 warheads is not just wasteful, but singularly insanely dangerous. If you read this and shrug and do nothing, you are equally to blame... please show some outrage! Post this video... send it to someone. Something. Cheers.
Green Energy (27 days ago)
No More War
Colin Churchill (27 days ago)
Does anyone else see the sheep head in the mushroom cloud photo? ...I knew those woolly bastards would be the death of us all...
Vaperius (27 days ago)
For the record: analog control technology is intentional, anything that can't be hacked by a outside digital source is especially important in the case of nuclear weapons, so many analog systems were simply never upgraded due to the unique security advantage it provides.
Dave (27 days ago)
My face does look like a ferret :(
regina jerusalemsky (29 days ago)
About the time you have added all that together..see that no one cares about defense..no one cares about.. anyone but themselves..no one gives a dame about what you think..not the "defense" not the"prosecutors"..all lay down and humm+lick the shoes of..now that is where YOU SHOULD SAY"HWO?!" NOT"WHO CARES?"
regina jerusalemsky (29 days ago)
Because..i wish that the decision to go and keep only ONE PERCENTAGE OF THE PEOPLE OF EARTH was NOT based on the..well you can think of anything else yourself there .. from this point.. what ever you guess is..78% the truth so.. enjoy your adult rated movie
regina jerusalemsky (29 days ago)
You know what.? I actually want to be delivering food..how that ALL OF THE MOST DANGEROUS PEOPLE IN THE WORLD DID NOT KNOW THAT?! Well as " how" as Osama Bin Laden was a soldier under AMERICAN Army to FIGHT Russia..and how much"they"(Gray Cardinals of The world) fix"the demographic problem" by giving CANSER to Angelina Jouley ..for having taken as much of "the unwanted children" as she could ..sure that BRAD tried to warn her.. so she's a hero in my eyes..and fuck any other else
Colin Buchanan (1 month ago)
A country would realistically need like 25 nukes at the most, right? (not that I think any country should have them in the first place), that would effectively destroy the world, hoarding nukes is just a dick measuring contest.
Matthew Wyss (1 month ago)
We are just begging to be annihilated as a species, aren't we?
Jake Gagnon (1 month ago)
Floppy discs CAN’T be hacked. A modern system could in theory be hacked. Analog is impossible to hack, digital no matter how secure can eventually be hacked.
randall davis (1 month ago)
ICBM is not an acronym
Jordan Harris (1 month ago)
I thought he was actually gonna talk about how big of a fucking hoax nuclear weapons are
SCOUNDREL (1 month ago)
Why was he in Russia?
Ken (1 month ago)
A lot of people don't realize this, but
Adam Palmer (1 month ago)
Poor north Carolina
Nathan Franklin (1 month ago)
try hacking a floppy disc
Robin (1 month ago)
Fucking Americans. Why would you need so many weapons when a few of them is enough to destroy the world. Are they trying to destroy the entire solar system.
Alexander Castillo (1 month ago)
John has grown so much comically..His punch lines are the shit now haha
Ghosty Ghost (1 month ago)
USAF continues being a shitshow.
Sam Rhodes (1 month ago)
Hey but try and hack a floppy disk amiright?
rich pasto (1 month ago)
4:45 is a hawk missile battery.
Jarvis Bennett (1 month ago)
Hope Al Queda and Isis ain't watching this
Jarvis Bennett (1 month ago)
This shit sounds like something straight out of the movie Stripes ( Google that millennials )
William Weigle (1 month ago)
Nuclear weapons are in know way shape or form useless. They generally work as intended (except if a wrench is involved. lol). The real problem is they SHOULD be obsolete. Try convincing the US govt/military of that. Not to mention the rest of the worlds govt/military. Not gonna happen its still a "deterrent" for every govt that has them. At least we can take solace in knowing everyone will shoot them together one after another. They'll show us! Lol.
Broderlemer94 (1 month ago)
Oh this 2014 John doesn’t know how good Obama was compared to what was coming
William Weigle (1 month ago)
The "lemonade stand" floppies are abso-fucking-lutley ridiculous. At least we know no on can get that info, lol. Fuckin floppies.
Cris KP (1 month ago)
Seriously ? No Homer Simpsons references ?!
Lawrence Maweu (1 month ago)
a joke for who.....nice one John
Joe Soap (1 month ago)
The general Carey thing is time tested tactic that Russia uses for kompromat. Get the diplomat drunk/drugged/otherwise intoxicated, bring in the women, record everything, make a show of them afterwards.
Stephen (1 month ago)
That's why they are called the chair force.
Tara Gragg (1 month ago)
And and it was a cover if Back in The USSR and he couldn't wait to air guitar that shit.
Tara Gragg (1 month ago)
That's exactly how it works.
gabriel conlin (1 month ago)
I dont know why everyone seems to think the a nuclear bomb would detonate by being dropped or pierced by a socket. yes, the fuel to lunch the rocked exploded the that could not detonate the RDX high explosive that is used to start the reaction. So much ignorance out there. Also, an armed nuclear bomb still needs to be set to go off at a certain altitude or remotely detonated or programmed to go off.
FlipperTheDeadDolphin (1 month ago)
No one can hack into a floppy disc it’s smart if you think about it
James Walker (1 month ago)
And to think Daines was a 3.9+ GPA Chemical Engineering student at Montana State in the 80s...
Jarod Farrant (1 month ago)
Nasa has purpose per a plan to use earths nuclear arsenals to use Against meteorites. Sounds like a good idea, not great but better then nuclear annihilation.
Nathan Kiefer (1 month ago)
Not to mention all the UFO sightings and reports around nuclear missile silos. Dont trust me. Look it up.
Attac Heli (1 month ago)
I got 25 kills and u saying that I'm bad?? *GIT GUD MOTHERFUCKER*
Kevin smith (1 month ago)
way to go America to keep up on basic maintenance, lol. Floppy disc lol
DerZocker2000000 (1 month ago)
to be honest 2000 nuclear weapons would be enough to nuke every country of the world 10 times...including singapore, monaco, the vatican, andorra, liechtenstein, luxembourg, hong kong, macau and many other countrys... and you mostly are just going to target russia, north korea, iran, china and pretty much no one else with it
Isabelle Schering (1 month ago)
These days the thought of nuclear destruction comes to mind increasingly often. I feel like we should be having those drills again.
Saviliana (1 month ago)
In this point, I wonder how much nuclear device in the US military still able to be use before total rework.
bluebe11a (2 months ago)
He was good until he got Trump Derangement Syndrome.
gunchar06 (1 month ago)
Anyone with an actually working brain has Trump Derangement Syndrome, simply due to the fact how deranged Trump himself is.
PlaystoreColumbus (2 months ago)
The outdated technology is good. no one can hack it..
Abroham Lincoln (2 months ago)
I feel like there should be a Rick and Morty episode of Major General Carey lol I could just picture him being Rick lolol
You keep nuclear weapons in north dakota? where you have a lot of petroleum and gas? That's like storing your fireworks right under the stove.
90socram (2 months ago)
since trump took office every day that we dont have to live in a nuclear winter is a miracle
Benjamin (2 months ago)
At 11:06 when Oliver is talking about how we don't need nukes, I think he fails to understand their importance. It's not about how "useful" they are in regular combat situations where we are on the offensive, but rather we have nukes only because other countries have them. Basically, if we get rid of our nukes then we instantly become vulnerable to all other nuclear-capable nations (do you really think China or Russia would pass up such a good opportunity?). Getting rid of ALL our nukes is an absolutely terrifying idea, maybe we don't need 4,800 of them, but we certainly need a few of them. I understand that this is more of a comedy show, but John Oliver has a real knack for boiling down complicated issues into straw-man arguments in order to push his own flawed agenda. I could go on and on discussing all the mistakes in this video but that would take too long so I've just covered the heart of the issue. Maybe we don't always handle the situation in the best manner, but at least our leaders understand the situation better than this so-called news reporter.
gunchar06 (1 month ago)
Good opportunity(for what even, you don't seem to understand how the modern world actually works) , are you crazy? Neither China nor Russia are currently even just remotely nuts enough to attack with nukes(which would be anyways retarded to a ridiculous degree and they would gain nothing but astronomical problems by doing that), regardless if the USA have also nukes or not. And to claim our leaders would understand the situation better while freaking Donald Trump is the president is a sentence straight out of the Twilight Zone.
shoot2killlol 51 (2 months ago)
0:35 - Because the bombs at that time were so weak, if you were far away enough from the blast this could have saved you from life-threatening burns.
Snark Marx (2 months ago)
If I was a Major General in charge of nukes, and I saw that they shimmed blast doors open and still use floppys , I'd probably be getting black-out drunk too.
makunim (2 months ago)
John, I watch your stuff all the time, and I normally agree with what you say. However, in this segment you picked on a man for going to a Mexican restaurant. Really? Is that worst thing you could find on the guy? I mean it's the guy's free time and he isn't doing anything illegal or compromising. What is the big deal? No one picks on you on international television everytime you go out for margaritas and tacos.
verne davis (2 months ago)
ending an insult to Slim Pickens. ahahaha
Frank Ordaz (2 months ago)
Well I think the software is appropriate because it can never get hacked. Right?
gunchar06 (1 month ago)
Uhm no, there is a good reason why even some teenagers were able to hack atomic plants back then. Relevant would be just the connection to the outside world.
Tab Utu (2 months ago)
I'd join the airforce so I too could sleep on the job & get paid for it.
dorcas (2 months ago)
𝗜𝘁 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀𝘀𝘀𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗯𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗲𝗲𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗿𝗲𝘀 >>https://t.co/iwLrU6RZzP?cere45hu88sd
Ayélé Mensah (2 months ago)
4:33 John? Are you testing my patience with that low battery? *frantically looks for charger*
Dale Carpenter (2 months ago)
His face looks like a ferret !!!
Mr Zoat (2 months ago)
Actually, I'm fine with them getting a 'D' in launching civilisation ending weapons. I wish they ALL had that. Or better, an 'F'.
Pratik Gore (2 months ago)
You do need nukes for MAD. If there were no nukes, Cold War wouldn't have been so cold
Skippy the Magnificent (2 months ago)
Yes...but the Cold War is over now. It's been over for nearly 30 years.
Emmet Stradivari (2 months ago)
It's not just the hardware, it's also the software. *shows outdated hardware*
GusCraft460 (2 months ago)
Nuclear weapons are too powerful to be useful. It’s like trying wield a great sword (~6’ long) in an airplane bathroom. It is more inconvenient than it is effective.
SunnyZ (2 months ago)
They were not made to be useful. They were made to be last resort fuck you, fuck everything, fuck everyone in the general area we call Earth bombs.
MyDearKyoKun (2 months ago)
I made a mistake at work last week, and watching your videos help me get over it, thinking “Well, at least the worst case scenario wasn’t nuclear apocalypse.”
SuperKami (2 months ago)
there's a reason those nuclear silo's are outdated and out of maintenance... it's because they're completely useless, the USA knows this, Russia knows this. (their silo's are just as crap & old as yours) ground fired ICBM's have been an outdated strategy since the 1960's they DO NOT WORK. the only ICBM's currently in active service are loaded onto nuclear submarines and even then it's only for tactical strikes. (that's when you launch a missile against an enemy fleet or ground army) the real WMD's are high altitude stealth bombers, with internal smart guided bombs.
Adyn Rink (2 months ago)
Who is the man at 11:15 ? They didn't give a name that I saw
David Abramczyk (2 months ago)
That would be Colin Powell, GWB's Secretary of State.
feh meh (2 months ago)
The chair force are bunch of tools and an expensive joke. I can remember the 1001 conspiracy theories after 9/11 by people so confused and dumbfounded by how colossally they suck.
Meton12765 (2 months ago)
And, also, why are you bothered about the fact that if given the signal to launch nukes, the troops are too incompetent to make this happen?
paulanderson79 (2 months ago)
On account of the fact that the Troops could, as a result of their incompetence, interpret a "Who's turn is it to make the tea?" as a launch instruction.
Meton12765 (2 months ago)
Yeah, but what about the nukes in Israel, Pakistan and India?
Not_My_Name (3 months ago)
As long as the system is secure, I don't care if it's smoke signals to launch nuclear weapons.
gunchar06 (1 month ago)
What's your definition of secure plz???
86Rasen (3 months ago)
how many nukes does one need to fight (impossible to win) a nuclear war, 100?
Love this one i laugh so much He was too drunk for the Russians 😂😂 keep it up, just awesome this show
Xenophontes (3 months ago)
you can make fun of those floppies but id rather count on that than state of the art software that is easily hackable
gunchar06 (1 month ago)
Uhm but you're aware that even some teenagers(and i'm not talking about movies here) were able to hack stomic plants back then as they used floppies, right?
airraid713 (3 months ago)
All of these so called late night comedy show host suck nothing funny just hysteria and mindless liberal diatribe.
gunchar06 (1 month ago)
True, Trump himself is much funnier cause no comedian could ever look that retarded.
Jacob Damocles (3 months ago)
A lot of the issues here are a bit more complicated then they seem in the video, but Oliver has a lot of very good points. The obsolete hardware might be fixed by the GBSD program (basically buying a replacement ICBM that's more capable than the old ones), which is currently having contractors come up with designs so that the air force can test two prototype designs and choose what they want. The number of warheads currently maintained is governed by a lot of treaties made with the USSR that carried over, which caused those big drops in the chart. Incidents like what were listed are disturbing, but fairly rare (only a few dozen in maybe 70+ years, which is still, frankly, too many). A big issue which I wasn't brought up (rightfully, it'd be another 20 minute video from people who talk about just military stuff for a living) is that missileers are basically shit upon by the rest of the Air Force in addition to not getting much of the budget, so being an ICBM operator is super stressful work for not much pay or advancement opportunities.
Monty Sutter (3 months ago)
Loved the War Games reference
level (3 months ago)
why this cock sucker still here?
dummy 1 (3 months ago)
Also you could be saved by the blanket if it's a light color it will divert light, light is the deadliest part of a nuclear weapon you dumb ass
dummy 1 (1 month ago)
Really look at Hiroshima people with light colored shirts on got there arms burned of
gunchar06 (1 month ago)
Of course...
Jeronimo Tamayo Lopera (3 months ago)
MANY PEOPLE WANT TO END THE WORLD AS THEY KNOW IT... USELESS FUCKING BLANK.
Jeronimo Tamayo Lopera (3 months ago)
YOU ARE NOTHING BUT AN IGNORANT AND PRETENTIOUS CUNT.
Jeronimo Tamayo Lopera (3 months ago)
NUCLEAR WEAPONS WILL NOT DESTROY HUMANITY.

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