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Nuclear Weapons: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

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America has over 4,800 nuclear weapons, and we don’t take terrific care of them. It’s terrifying, basically. Connect with Last Week Tonight online... Subscribe to the Last Week Tonight YouTube channel for more almost news as it almost happens: www.youtube.com/user/LastWeekTonight Find Last Week Tonight on Facebook like your mom would: http://Facebook.com/LastWeekTonight Follow us on Twitter for news about jokes and jokes about news: http://Twitter.com/LastWeekTonight Visit our official site for all that other stuff at once: http://www.hbo.com/lastweektonight
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Text Comments (8603)
Abroham Lincoln (1 day ago)
I feel like there should be a Rick and Morty episode of Major General Carey lol I could just picture him being Rick lolol
You keep nuclear weapons in north dakota? where you have a lot of petroleum and gas? That's like storing your fireworks right under the stove.
90socram (5 days ago)
since trump took office every day that we dont have to live in a nuclear winter is a miracle
Benjamin (6 days ago)
At 11:06 when Oliver is talking about how we don't need nukes, I think he fails to understand their importance. It's not about how "useful" they are in regular combat situations where we are on the offensive, but rather we have nukes only because other countries have them. Basically, if we get rid of our nukes then we instantly become vulnerable to all other nuclear-capable nations (do you really think China or Russia would pass up such a good opportunity?). Getting rid of ALL our nukes is an absolutely terrifying idea, maybe we don't need 4,800 of them, but we certainly need a few of them. I understand that this is more of a comedy show, but John Oliver has a real knack for boiling down complicated issues into straw-man arguments in order to push his own flawed agenda. I could go on and on discussing all the mistakes in this video but that would take too long so I've just covered the heart of the issue. Maybe we don't always handle the situation in the best manner, but at least our leaders understand the situation better than this so-called news reporter.
shoot2killlol 51 (6 days ago)
0:35 - Because the bombs at that time were so weak, if you were far away enough from the blast this could have saved you from life-threatening burns.
Snark Marx (7 days ago)
If I was a Major General in charge of nukes, and I saw that they shimmed blast doors open and still use floppys , I'd probably be getting black-out drunk too.
makunim (8 days ago)
John, I watch your stuff all the time, and I normally agree with what you say. However, in this segment you picked on a man for going to a Mexican restaurant. Really? Is that worst thing you could find on the guy? I mean it's the guy's free time and he isn't doing anything illegal or compromising. What is the big deal? No one picks on you on international television everytime you go out for margaritas and tacos.
verne davis (8 days ago)
ending an insult to Slim Pickens. ahahaha
Frank Ordaz (9 days ago)
Well I think the software is appropriate because it can never get hacked. Right?
Tab Utu (9 days ago)
I'd join the airforce so I too could sleep on the job & get paid for it.
dorcas (12 days ago)
𝗜𝘁 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀𝘀𝘀𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘂𝗻𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗯𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗲𝗲𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗻𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗿𝗲𝘀 >>https://t.co/iwLrU6RZzP?cere45hu88sd
Ayélé Mensah (23 days ago)
4:33 John? Are you testing my patience with that low battery? *frantically looks for charger*
Dale Carpenter (24 days ago)
His face looks like a ferret !!!
Mr Zoat (26 days ago)
Actually, I'm fine with them getting a 'D' in launching civilisation ending weapons. I wish they ALL had that. Or better, an 'F'.
Pratik Gore (27 days ago)
You do need nukes for MAD. If there were no nukes, Cold War wouldn't have been so cold
Skippy the Magnificent (24 days ago)
Yes...but the Cold War is over now. It's been over for nearly 30 years.
Emmet Stradivari (28 days ago)
It's not just the hardware, it's also the software. *shows outdated hardware*
GusCraft460 (28 days ago)
Nuclear weapons are too powerful to be useful. It’s like trying wield a great sword (~6’ long) in an airplane bathroom. It is more inconvenient than it is effective.
SunnyZ (3 days ago)
They were not made to be useful. They were made to be last resort fuck you, fuck everything, fuck everyone in the general area we call Earth bombs.
MyDearKyoKun (28 days ago)
I made a mistake at work last week, and watching your videos help me get over it, thinking “Well, at least the worst case scenario wasn’t nuclear apocalypse.”
SuperKami (28 days ago)
there's a reason those nuclear silo's are outdated and out of maintenance... it's because they're completely useless, the USA knows this, Russia knows this. (their silo's are just as crap & old as yours) ground fired ICBM's have been an outdated strategy since the 1960's they DO NOT WORK. the only ICBM's currently in active service are loaded onto nuclear submarines and even then it's only for tactical strikes. (that's when you launch a missile against an enemy fleet or ground army) the real WMD's are high altitude stealth bombers, with internal smart guided bombs.
Adyn Rink (29 days ago)
Who is the man at 11:15 ? They didn't give a name that I saw
David Abramczyk (8 days ago)
That would be Colin Powell, GWB's Secretary of State.
feh meh (29 days ago)
The chair force are bunch of tools and an expensive joke. I can remember the 1001 conspiracy theories after 9/11 by people so confused and dumbfounded by how colossally they suck.
Meton12765 (29 days ago)
And, also, why are you bothered about the fact that if given the signal to launch nukes, the troops are too incompetent to make this happen?
paulanderson79 (5 days ago)
On account of the fact that the Troops could, as a result of their incompetence, interpret a "Who's turn is it to make the tea?" as a launch instruction.
Meton12765 (29 days ago)
Yeah, but what about the nukes in Israel, Pakistan and India?
Not_My_Name (1 month ago)
As long as the system is secure, I don't care if it's smoke signals to launch nuclear weapons.
86Rasen (1 month ago)
how many nukes does one need to fight (impossible to win) a nuclear war, 100?
Stewie Griffs (1 month ago)
Love this one i laugh so much He was too drunk for the Russians 😂😂 keep it up, just awesome this show
p3wp3wz0rz (1 month ago)
you can make fun of those floppies but id rather count on that than state of the art software that is easily hackable
airraid713 (1 month ago)
All of these so called late night comedy show host suck nothing funny just hysteria and mindless liberal diatribe.
Jacob Damocles (1 month ago)
A lot of the issues here are a bit more complicated then they seem in the video, but Oliver has a lot of very good points. The obsolete hardware might be fixed by the GBSD program (basically buying a replacement ICBM that's more capable than the old ones), which is currently having contractors come up with designs so that the air force can test two prototype designs and choose what they want. The number of warheads currently maintained is governed by a lot of treaties made with the USSR that carried over, which caused those big drops in the chart. Incidents like what were listed are disturbing, but fairly rare (only a few dozen in maybe 70+ years, which is still, frankly, too many). A big issue which I wasn't brought up (rightfully, it'd be another 20 minute video from people who talk about just military stuff for a living) is that missileers are basically shit upon by the rest of the Air Force in addition to not getting much of the budget, so being an ICBM operator is super stressful work for not much pay or advancement opportunities.
Monty Sutter (1 month ago)
Loved the War Games reference
level (1 month ago)
why this cock sucker still here?
dummy 1 (1 month ago)
Also you could be saved by the blanket if it's a light color it will divert light, light is the deadliest part of a nuclear weapon you dumb ass
Jeronimo Tamayo Lopera (1 month ago)
MANY PEOPLE WANT TO END THE WORLD AS THEY KNOW IT... USELESS FUCKING BLANK.
Jeronimo Tamayo Lopera (1 month ago)
YOU ARE NOTHING BUT AN IGNORANT AND PRETENTIOUS CUNT.
Jeronimo Tamayo Lopera (1 month ago)
NUCLEAR WEAPONS WILL NOT DESTROY HUMANITY.
L'enfant Terrible (1 month ago)
The older the system, the safer they are really. New integrated system risk being hacked by sophisticated hackers of today. There are pros and cons of everything. Remember that.
DarkLight523 (1 month ago)
Dude, where's my car? More like Dude, where's my ICBM?
KOD (1 month ago)
I mean come on they need to reduce the Nuclear Arsenal.. The cost is ridiculous and its unnecessary.. If you had a war and fired all these missiles there would not be an earth to live on... Reduce the number of Nukes whether Russia does or not really doesn't matter with 1000 you still make the earth uninhabitable..... Then improve the technology...
Margeelol (1 month ago)
....I'm from North Carolina...I would've never been born....well this is going to keep me up at night
Bruce C (1 month ago)
Forget the "Day After" that's for kids. Checkout "Thread's" Holly Shit.
itsnotatoober (1 month ago)
Standing ovation for icbm
Furthermore, the equipment is ancient because it is harder to hack into, showing what an idiot Oliver is.
The duck and cover and picnic blanket is to reduce injuries/burns. Joking about that shows how stupid he is.
Feni007 (1 month ago)
"Duck and cover" rofl. That really reminds me of the first season of South Park where citizens were told to duck and cover from the lava.
Oscar Lopez (1 month ago)
That’s the same casino I go to
LogoToras (1 month ago)
Did he ever say why we don't need them? All he showed is a clip of a guy saying we don't need them.
Rafael Purnama (1 month ago)
it seems rather preposterous for US to reduce the number of its nuclear warheads while not benefiting other countries that still maintain them in large quantity. and as this segment revealed to us, it's the lack of modern equipment, disciplined and competent officers who are properly trained to handle the nuclear warheads that poses danger to the country. so isn't it better to solve the issue by replacing the obsolete equipments with updated ones and strengthening discipline and training among officers while preserving the current amount of warheads although with a better regard to safety?
Svetoslav Chilingirov (1 month ago)
You need your nuclear weapons, cause a lot of your political relationships depend on your nuclear umbrella. There is a nuclear balance and your (american) public opinion does not have to be taken into account, because if your public does not want missiles, russions, indians and others will prevail. You will lose your influence and destabilisation on a world scale will appear. A international agreement will work only
Gregor Coetzee (1 month ago)
Typically I am not fond of America and its policies towards foreign governments.. But I do believe the USA should be armed with Nuclear weapons and those weapons should be deployable at a moments notice. Mutual assured destruction has indirectly lead to more peace in the last 100 years than diplomacy has ever had independently.
Mark Jasinski (1 month ago)
Ha. H. .
Smileyheckster (1 month ago)
4:50 that's not a nuclear missile lol
Rm s (1 month ago)
Least discussed fact that it's all supported by Taxpayers paid taxes. Don't pay taxes :D
pringle239 (1 month ago)
I love how they mentioned La Cantina, sadly it has closed now but it was also Ian Flemmings favourite Bar
Science 2020 (1 month ago)
We actually have almost 7,000 nukes
KemkoKaoKameo (1 month ago)
Actually, to improve upon ur trex analogy, nukes r actually like hiv infected needles being wielded by the tiny Hands of a trex. Especially since he'd probably be more likely to stab himself
Mr. Shadow (1 month ago)
Duck and cover!
Nick Lang (1 month ago)
What the eff are people with nukes thinking about?!
arkayen666123 (1 month ago)
The thing about dropping a socket is irrelevant. They could've destroyed the ICBM, and killed a lot of workers yes, and yes there would be some very localized radiation from the materials in the warhead, but blowing up a warhead doesn't cause the nuclear reaction that it does when used as a weapon.
Fonce (1 month ago)
Ya John, Our government has taken the Secrecy thing that President Kennedy warned us about WAY too far! Now the people operating our missile systems no longer have "The Need to Know" anything about the weapons they control.
Matthew Trzcinski (1 month ago)
It's because the missile service is where you send misfits. They'll never be used, never be called on.
d-_-b (1 month ago)
Lets go bomb USA because they have weapons of mass destruction, and way too many!(using the american logic here).
John White (1 month ago)
Another big fuck up from the WORST FIRST WORLD COUNTRY IN THE WORLD !
Zaid (2 months ago)
1:51 intercontenLENTAL
Аня Липина (2 months ago)
14:50 Well, you basically asked for a president who could blow up the planet.
MartyVendetta27 (2 months ago)
you'd be interested to know that here in wyoming, at Warren Air Force base, the soldiers guarding the nukes had been tripping on LSD pretty regularly.
Young Bush (2 months ago)
Hey
Eric Choi (2 months ago)
John Oliver is a legend.
Gabriel C (2 months ago)
funny john oliver :) you are too pessimistic :)
cloudsweapon567 (2 months ago)
Being the president has seriously got the be the most stressful job imaginable.
The Jokester (2 months ago)
They idiots they do know that a nuke will destroy everyone they should get fired
amerikkka is a big joke I've been saying this for years nobody takes me seriously .
Brad Demerich (2 months ago)
A lot of this is crazy, but using mechanical drives for these systems is a good idea. It's all around safer to keep the systems simple and less accessible from modern forms of breach.
Cian McCabe (2 months ago)
I think the low tech launching computers are there to make them harder to hack.
Undiddley (2 months ago)
A joke of a nightmare within a nightmare set inside the bottom of a nearly bottomless nightmare that ends with the nightmare of a joke about an idiot's nightmare.
Dhaval Shukla (2 months ago)
I have said this once and I'll say it thousand times. UN should interfere and make every country with nuclear power, push towards the denuclearization. IT IS TOO MUCH DANGER.
Benjamin Ringrose (2 months ago)
I always love these but a couple comments. First, duck and cover was never supposed to protect those in the immediate area of the blast. It was to protect those further out from the force of the shock wave and was very effective. The same things we do in earthquakes all around the world. Second, using older computer hardware could be deliberate. Something that runs on a floppy disk would be much more difficult to hack than a modern network connected computer. Still a great segment but a bit of one sided information here.
Dictator Bargo (2 months ago)
I hope this won't give isis any ideas.
husen boriwala (2 months ago)
Ahh.... Remember when we didn't live in fear of nuclear war
Willie Martinez (2 months ago)
Trump is a BIG PUSSY not telling North Korea not to arm nuclear missles
squattingheads (2 months ago)
Trying to find a comedian making fun of hiroshima. But they dont touch it. I actually never see americans talking about it. But nazis sure
reprapmlp (2 months ago)
Um, those 8" floppy disks are closer to the size of a single than an LP.
Forgeby G (2 months ago)
Nuclear winters are cold. Keep warm with Vault-tec!
Joe Mama (2 months ago)
Triggered marxist cucks make me happy!!
Patrick Wheeler (2 months ago)
Duck and cover was promoted to help people who might be too far from the center of the blast to be instantly annihilated, but might still be hurt by debris or radiation.
benjamin williams (2 months ago)
I tried to do a comedy sketch based on this vid in 8th grade it went terrible
Jason Reeve (2 months ago)
amarican law makers are morons
a24396 (2 months ago)
The real problem with nuclear weapons is the more you learn about them the less scary they become and you can talk yourself into accepting they are a necessary evil.
a24396 (2 months ago)
Sure... Misinformation plays a role, chiefly to make having them, or using them: "unthinkable" - but for the people that know how they work and effects of the weapons when they are used, they stop being apocalyptic and become tools... And it's easy to become complacent... Using them isn't going to "destroy the world" and even the fallout when they are used isn't as bad as the popular lore would have us believe. But... They make mass death far too easy to accomplish and they let it happen at arms length. The true danger is it might only take one sociopath getting their hands on one and if you give it enough time it's bound to happen. And when that sociopath is dis-inhibited from using them because they know the facts? Not a good outcome...
Zane Shute (2 months ago)
But is that really a problem with nuclear weapons, or their public image that's often influenced by misinformation?
Aditya Tiwari (2 months ago)
1:55 BM= Bowel Movement for those who didn't get it
Rafael Oda (2 months ago)
The hell a top military officer, in charge of nuclear weapons, is doing in Russia anyway?
res1492 (2 months ago)
this guy is so not funny...the fake laughter is telling
Eric (2 months ago)
The reason the tech is old is so no one can hack them
daniel job (2 months ago)
Russian general: Haha! Look at how outdated Amerikanski system is! Aide: (coughs) *points at old shoebox full of punch cards*
Stay classy (2 months ago)
0:39 failed dab attempt
Pold the only (2 months ago)
How are nuclear weapons useless? What about the nuclear deterrent
Leads4 Accessibility (3 months ago)
I’ve lost all faith in humanity I
Juam Laris (3 months ago)
Holy shaza a floppy disk oh my God rofl
Ha Truong (3 months ago)
Can't even laugh at the joke. Sf terrifying.
Political Sleuth (3 months ago)
Ha Truong I was about to say the same thing
IcarianX (3 months ago)
Iran doesn't actually have nuclear weapons. Or a nuclear weapons program. Oliver subtly suggest that it does here.
benedictify (3 months ago)
So which countries will we automatically nuke when an American missile blows up accidentally in a silo, and it's mistaken for a foreign nuclear attack?
Zane Shute (2 months ago)
None. Despite that scenario being nearly impossible, radioisotope forensics can tell us where the nuclear fuel came from. If it came from us, then...
A guy I went to school with he said the first Russian satellite that was ever sent into orbit it has less hardware than the first gameboy that was made. first generation gameboy

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